Victoria's Secret

A very unlikely double-act huddled in the corner of the post-olympic tea party reception held at the British Embassy in Beijing.

Lord Mayor of London; Boris and Victoria's Man; Becks were hatching a plan ensuring the Brits finish on the podium of the 2012 table tennis event.

David divulged that for the past year Victoria has been practicing firing ping pong balls from her vagina. He expanded by whispering to Boris...

¨she has a pussy like a "Tommy Gun".

She apparently learnt the art of ¨slinging the ping¨ in a Bankok nightclub whilst on an assignment in Thailand last year.

Becks has pledged to round-up a couple-dozen Essex girls for a Private VIP (Vagina Induced Ping-pong-party) table tennis opening ceremony at an undisclosed east-London location in 2012.

In the meantime, Victoria has given her word she will, for an undisclosed fee train the piss-flap pingers.