Gordon ¨Brown ¨Trousers¨ urges Britons to join Wow Paradise
British Prime Minister, Gordon ¨Brown¨ Trousers has today made a last ditch attempt to save his reputation for economic competence.
British Prime Minister, Gordon ¨Brown¨ Trousers has today made a last ditch attempt to save his reputation for economic competence.
Broadcasting from the Pirate Radio Station, Radio WOW, he urged all Britons to join the internet marketing opportunity, Wow Paradise.
Brown Trousers, said:
"I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, and join Wow Paradise today, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements for Paradise are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to defend ourselves, our families and Island home against all banks, bailiffs, scamsters, scumsters, red-headed step-children, The French, The Catholic Church and Satan, and, to ride out the storm of financial deprivation, and to outlive the menace of being skint and hungry, if necessary for years, if necessary alone.¨
Brown Trousers, said:
"I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, and join Wow Paradise today, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements for Paradise are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to defend ourselves, our families and Island home against all banks, bailiffs, scamsters, scumsters, red-headed step-children, The French, The Catholic Church and Satan, and, to ride out the storm of financial deprivation, and to outlive the menace of being skint and hungry, if necessary for years, if necessary alone.¨
He continued...
¨At any rate, that is what we are going to try to do. That is the resolve of Her Travesty’s Government-every man of them. That is the will of Wow Paradise and the nation.
The British Empire, Wow Paradise and our American Cousins, linked together in their cause and in their need, will defend to the death their native soil, aiding each other like good comrades to the utmost of their strength in the promotion and marketing of Wow Paradise.
Even though large tracts of Europe and many old and famous States have fallen into debt and hunger or may fall into the grip of the financial Gestapo and all the odious apparatus of Nazi boss rule, we shall not flag or fail in our commitment to Wow Paradise.
We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in forums, we shall fight on the social networks, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on the internet , we shall defend our right to join Wow Paradise, whatever the cost may be,we shall fight on the beaches of Paradise, we shall fight on the Wow Paradise landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets of Paradise , we shall fight in the Paradise hills of WOW; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Wow Paradise Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British and American Fleet of Wow Paradise Marketers, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New Wow Paradise World, with all its power, might and financial freedom, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of every man, woman and child."
This rousing speech, delivered at 7.00pm (GMT) last night, saw the Wow Paradise server’s crash under the weight of internet traffic.
A spokesperson for Wow Paradise, financial controller, Paulo ¨PayPal¨ Wardo, said,
¨the mainstream financial institutions are well and truly f*****, everyone is rushing to open a PayPal account to pay their Pound a day wow paradise subscription¨. He continued, ¨the big brother banks have had their chips, with PayPal you don’t have to submit any personal crap, all you need is an email address – the big banks are dead!¨
We tried contacting ¨Brown¨ Trousers, for his reaction, but unfortunately he was apparently too busy promoting Wow Paradise.
We tried contacting ¨Brown¨ Trousers, for his reaction, but unfortunately he was apparently too busy promoting Wow Paradise.
We did however manage to speak to his assistant, Greg ¨Glasgow¨ McKenzie.
¨Glasgow¨ told us:
Is there for honest Poverty,
That hings his head, an' a' that;
¨Glasgow¨ told us:
Is there for honest Poverty,
That hings his head, an' a' that;
the coward slave-we pass him by,
We dare be poor for a' that!
We dare be poor for a' that!
For a' that, an' a' that,
Our toils obscure an' a' that,
Our toils obscure an' a' that,
the rank is but the guinea's stamp,
The Man's the gowd for a' that.
He went on:
¨For a' that, an' a' that, an’ a’ that,
Wow Paradise for honest gain
That hings youse bankers, an' a' that,
The coward boss, we pass him by,
We dare be a rich for a’ that!
And finally, this morning we received a fax from Wow Paradise chief agitator, Simon ¨Revolution¨ Marrot.
¨Your life, your destiny, your finances are not in your hands – you are controlled by the institutions, and the invisible jailers that surround you, enslave you, and eventually kill you.
Cut your chains, be free, be you, be happy, be independent, be rich, join the revolution, JOIN WOW PARADISE – Today! ¨
He went on:
¨For a' that, an' a' that, an’ a’ that,
Wow Paradise for honest gain
That hings youse bankers, an' a' that,
The coward boss, we pass him by,
We dare be a rich for a’ that!
And finally, this morning we received a fax from Wow Paradise chief agitator, Simon ¨Revolution¨ Marrot.
¨Your life, your destiny, your finances are not in your hands – you are controlled by the institutions, and the invisible jailers that surround you, enslave you, and eventually kill you.
Cut your chains, be free, be you, be happy, be independent, be rich, join the revolution, JOIN WOW PARADISE – Today! ¨
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